A Fug Of Christmas Cooking

Finally run out of steam - beyond the realms of tired.  Most of the day in the kitchen - my favourite place - doing what I love - anything with food. This morning making Christmas presents -  experimenting with raw chocolate tiffin cake studded with gogi berries and hazelnuts, coconut almond macaroons and roasted almond and cashew nut butters. 

But everything takes a long time and I forget to drizzle the macaroons with chocolate, I dither about whether to re-make the cranberry and walnut brownies I baked the other day as I'm  not happy with them. It's because I'm distracted by my new iPhone going wrong - I'm not receiving texts from some numbers. 

So when Robin comes back from his outing with a dear friend, complaining of pain in his right leg and goes for a lie down, I drive into town and visit Carphone Wharehouse for technical advice. The young man deletes all my messages, fiddles with it and says it's fixed. But it isn't.  I want to scream with frustration.

Later when Robin wakes up, and after late salad lunch, it's too late to go to Killerton House to see the Christmas decorations. As it's getting dark we drive out to Tescos in another town to make an outing of it and stop at Quickes Farm shop for a cup of tea - where I have the best cheese scone ever - properly warmed up in the oven not the microwave, crisp cheesy crust on the outside and tender cheesy crumb inside. Maybe the secret is also that they use their own cheese and butter churned on the farm.

I spend too much at the supermarket, I've got too many lists, I can't remember if I bought walnuts and butter last time so I get more just in case.  Robin says he really enjoys it - wandering round the unfamiliar  aisles  looking for honey and Thai curry paste. The bags are too heavy for him to carry 

now -  he can't lift them into the boot.

At home he sleeps some more -  on and on into the evening  and I fret about my phone and decorate the chocolate brownie trees - getting slower and slower and more haphazard with the gold stars and the silver balls.

 We have egg on toast/ jam on toast for supper on trays in the sitting room as the kitchen table is covered with my recipe files and lots of lovely Christmas cards - everyone remembering us - reminding me I haven't written our Christmas email....not sure what to say or how to say it. I'd rather bury myself in a fug of Christmas cooking than think about our life....already so different from this time last year... and dreading what's coming next year.