Not My Circus

I learnt something else about giving and receiving today.

When you give you are in control and when you receive you aren't. Which is why I've always found it  easier to give. But my controlling tendencies get me into trouble when I think I'm responsible for someone else's feelings or choices.

In the last few years one of the hardest things I've had to do is to ask for help from our wide circle of family and friends to spend time with Robin so that I can have time out.  They offer willingly. It means receiving their support gracefully instead of trying to over compensate, second guess what they might need/ think/feel and if I can give it to them. Which isn't receiving at all really as it's tinged with guilt and anxiety. Makes it harder for them. Besides it's patronising to imagine they aren't responsible for themselves.

Big learning. Will start practising now. Be responsible for myself and notice if I jump into the ring when "it's not my circus, not my monkeys."