Respite

 Dictionary Definition of RESPITE -  1. a period of temporary delay, esp a reprieve.

2. a period of rest or relief

What I really want is respite from my incessant thoughts - mostly fearful ones. The next best thing is to go away from home for a few days leaving my husband in the care and kind hands of my brother-in-law and dear friends. 

 So, this weekend, deep in rural Dorset, in a warm barn conversion on a muddy farm, surrounded by ancient barrow hills and in the company of good and caring people I noticed that I could calm my thoughts a bit, let the tiredness and tears rise to the surface, indulge in lumps of Rocky Road Tiffin cake, cook vegetarian supper for 20 people with the gift of my sister, stride out into the wind, listen to wise and loving words, sleep long in the morning and suspend my usual life routines...... a reprieve - even a temporary one -  bringing me solace.

And today I had another reprieve in the company of two old friends - coffee and cranberry brownies with one, rich lentil soup and salty focaccio bread with the other -  followed by a wonderful escape into the darkness of the cinema.. So when I came home it was somehow easier to tolerate all the idiosyncrasies of my husband. We even played a game of Scrabble, with a dictionary at hand, which he won....

Now I know that respite isn't just a nice idea for someone else....it applies to me, in a vital way that I never thought it would......and there just may be a way of taking it out of the realms of a lovely dream, dependent on the kindness of my family and friends, into another level of respite care.....which could save both of us......