Brave words yesterday about loving and living alongside my back pain...worse than ever this morning - I make time for gentle stretching but not for much listening or consenting....but do make appointment to see lovely body worker with magic hands next week.....notice my habit of wanting instant results.....
The kitchen table is covered with stacks of files and papers and my toppling In-tray and Pending Tray, and Money Tray and Urgent Action Tray and my wonderful sister is sorting and filing and throwing away - one piece of paper at a time - helping me bring order to my neglected muddled systems.
But really she's helping me to separate out the muddle in my mind - all the things that are bothering me - like having a Carers's Assessment for me and my husband's needs which includes a financial review - and working out the things I can do something about now, and all the things that aren't in my control and can't do anything about yet. So no need to spend so much time worrying about them. Another habit to start giving my consent to. I think I read somewhere that lower back pain can be associated with loss of financial support or fear of it anyway.....mmmmmm.
Tonight I decorate the orange glazed Lemon Polenta Cake with little white chocolate stars and the sweet open buds of Narcissi and take it to the big warm circle of our Deeksha mediation group. We are celebrating the birthday of one dear friend and celebrating the life of another dear friend who passed away yesterday. I think he might have had a snooze during the mediation but he would have enjoyed the cake and the flowers.... and all of us remembering him with love.
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