Being The Memory Keeper

I'm trying to remember where I was this morning that made me think of this day with my sisters in Portugal, several winters ago....we were walking on the beach in bright sunshine watching the sky turn dark and thunderous on the horizon.....watching the storm blowing in ....wondering if we could get to the cafe at the end of the rocks in time......starting to run before the deluge hit us.

 This morning I must have been walking somewhere in hot sun heading into black clouds..... knowing I didn't have a coat or umbrella....no, I wasn't walking I was driving to Sainsbury's to buy mangoes and cream and salmon and trying to remember all the things on my list...... realised I'd left it on the dining room table before I came out.

Feel quite shocked that it took me so long to remember what happened this morning.

When my husband comes home this afternoon he says he's been to Wells Cathedral with my brother -in -law and he doesn't remember going there before. I remind him of some of the visits we've had in the last few years....the day after my nephew's wedding when we both bought new boots.....the day we walked round the moat in the  drizzling rain and we could see Glastonbury Tor in the distance  .... The day we had a quiche lunch in the pub by the car park..... and the fat black cherries we bought in the market on the way back.

But he does't recall any of it. Maybe it was fat strawberries we bought in the market and not cherries.....

 Not that it matters - losing these memories - even if mine are a bit vague....it's just that I feel cut adrift .....being the memory keeper for one of us ....like having a key but no door. 

 So maybe it's better to just stay in the present. I can hear my husband doing his teeth in the bathroom. He'll call up the stairs in a minute and say he's going to bed. I haven't pulled the curtains tonight.... I'm watching the belly curve of the half moon as it slips out from behind the clouds - a quick silver wink in the darkness.