After the long session with the lovely woman from Welfare Rights - the very same angel from our Tribunal days last year - this time filling out a 40 page form to apply for DLA - Disabiliy Living Allowance, I have a craving to be in the presence of Giant Redwoods.
I’m feeling wobbly and tearful - the questions are about the kinds of care/help/supervision my husband needs to get about ouside and at home. And he does now - need support for things which would have been unthinkable - like not knowing that the red lights on the hob mean it’s off but still hot.....or that he knows and has met many times the woman who has just been sitting in our living room for two hours....or that the interview was about applying for a benefit for him ( maybe £20 a week) because he doesn’t recall the meaning of the word benefit....
Luckily we have nine huge Sequoias, imported from California in 1854, and planted in the beautiful landscaped gardens of Killerton House - less than 15 minutes away from us, so I can satisfy my longing to touch their rough bark and breathe in their deep rooted, ancient permanence and marvel at their unwavering strength...
More than that when we arrive in the grounds we find that spring has flown ahead of us and arranged a wedding party of blossom - a dense confetti display of acers and blackthorn, rhododendrons and magnolias in all shades of mauve and magenta, peach and apricot, moon white and scarlet - beaming out against the blue afternoon sky.
And in the grass at their feet a mass of new and tender bluebells......reminding me of my parents and their secret bluebell anniversary.....reminding me nothing is permanent in this world - everything changes, dies.
Except Love.....
Except Love.....
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