Coming Home

 Coming home to tulips in the garden this evening...

1st May 2013

I forgot to take my camera to the allotment this morning. ....didn’t really have time to take photos ....too busy clearing the raised beds with two dear companions who had offered to come and be an advance weeding party - to give my husband the kick start he needs to climb out from under the overwhelming march of thistle, convolvulous and dock.

Wearing old floppy hats, suncream smeared on noses and shoulders, rubber gloves pulled over arthritic fingers, with copper trowels in hand we squat or kneel by the first choked bed and start digging, chuntering about our lives, hardly noticing the piles of weeds growing bigger and bigger in our buckets. My husband plants and waters his seedlings and mends the netting on the fruit cages.

It feels like coming home, like barn raising....sharing the work, sharing the burden of it all  so that it doesn’t feel like a huge chore.  It doesn’t feel like work at all....it feels like fun.... the  opposite of being alone and scared - doing it together....

What’s been coming up for me a lot at the moment is how to ask for help, how to receive it graciously, how to let in all the love and support that’s flowing towards me without feeling that I somehow don’t deserve it or I have to give back in some other way..... So today’s TUT Note From the Universe made me think about what  bigger dream I could have that’s buried in the circumstance of my husband having a brain disease.

Sometimes, when circumstances or disapointments bump you off track, it’s the beginning of an even bigger dream coming true, that could not have come true on the track you were on....

Maybe something to do with coming home to Myself ....