Driftwood

23rd September 2012 Sunday

Still happy. It’s like I shed a skin yesterday -  my tight crysalis tomb which has kept me small with fear and false modesty.....today I even love the soft rain following me like a constant background waterfall where ever I am.

This morning I oversleep but still manage to make my dish to share for lunch -  a red and green rice salad  - roasted peppers and tomatoes, spring onions, chopped basil and parsley swirled through the grains and topped with toasted cashews for crunch.  I love being in the company of our Course in Miracles group especially without my old restrictive skin dissolved by gratitude and love.....My husband calls it my Miracle Mind group....

While I’m there he walks with a dear friend - avoids the rain by visiting one of the Artists Open Studios - brings back post cards of Heather Jansch’s amazing life size sculptures of driftwood horses...makes me want to have one grazing in the garden under the apple tree...

Later my husband makes cheese on toast for their lunch.....I bring out the fat Tribunal file and we sit at the table while our friend reads through all the submissions and doctors letters and evidence. He makes notes and asks questions so that he can be a witness for us at the appeal in a week’s time. He says he can even use some of my blog to build our case....I feel so uplifted by his support.

Much later, in the bath, my husband spins into a spiral of pain and loss about not understanding the conversation with our friend, about having to look up words to play scrabble and not remembering what they mean, about not following a TV programme, Family Guy, that he used to  enjoy, about feeling fat.

I sit on the egde of the bath listening to him and recieve his grief -  a precious gift that he’s offering me and hold it for him till it’s time to let it go...like a piece of driftwood tumbled  smooth in the waves of the shoreline.....