Till Today ....I haven't let it sink in.

Till today...

I haven't let it sink in

what it was all about

my two weeks alone

in Portugal.

Today 

I found out

it was 

good for my body

all that 

visceral

beauty.

A balm for

my cells.

Not so good 

for the

tender

raw

vulnerable

little soul

shaking inside me.

The one who wants 

a strong

 grown up 

to look after her.

Who doesn't know 

how to be 

alone

when it

doesn't feel 

safe.

So maybe it was just too soon

for a wounded heart

to be stranded 

for so long

in a place

so full of 

remembered

togetherness.

They say you have to 

feel it 

to heal it.

Well, you have to breathe first

mindfully

in and out

to know you are alive.

So holding my  breath

for two weeks

not knowing 

it was safe 

I didn't feel

very much

at all.

In the places

that are hurting.

Instead 

I let my legs take me

into the saltiness

 and the sweetness

of the 

sea air

and breathed that

salve

into

my blood.

Which 

in turn

 is cradling

the soreness

of my heart.