Bullets

Somerset Sunset - Saturday night

On Friday a brown envelope arrives in the post -  a speeding conviction for my husband - caught on camera.

  This afternoon another brown envelope from HMRC lands on the mat.  The numbers have more than doubled for tax owed and I don't understand why. My husband is shocked. I want to scream. I'm on my way out for an appointment in Newton Abbot. I get lost, arrive late, my head full of worry, my blood full of fear. 

There is no lion chasing me but I don't know how to tell my heart that although it doesn't appear so, all is well and all manner of things shall be well.   

The perfume of roasting peppers, aubergines, onions and courgettes is floating upstairs. I'm clearing out the fridge, using up all the old, slightly wrinkled veggies because we are going away for a week on Wednesday. We're driving up to Scotland to stay with dear friends and visiting my Uncle and Aunt on the way in Sheffield.

Leaving the bullets of brown envelopes to pile up on the mat till we get home.....but carrying their bitter smoke with us all the way. I'm wondering if I'll ever get the hang of this surrender/acceptance/ forgiveness thing....