SOFT And Bright

Unexpected late orchid flower in the kitchen...

Pomegranate spilling its rubies...

Trying to capture snow flakes like falling ash....

11th March 2013

Driving to my yoga class this morning, hunched against the freezing air, I find myself repeating over and over a mnemonic I invented ages ago as a sort of joke to describe how I felt...SOFT

Stiff

Old

Fat...and 

Tired

all of me hurting and resistant - pounding myself with the ‘truth’ of my words.

Then it hit me that if I was going to chant anything it could at least be kinder thoughts....so I tried the Hoponopono mantra - 

I’m sorry

I love you

Please forgive me

Thank you

saying it like my 2x table -  blotting out the dull pain in my back.....momentarily.

 My husband's car is in the garage so after lunch I drive us to Newton Abbot for our Chiropractic appointments.  I don’t feel like talking - sometimes I’m afraid we have nothing to say to each other - except about diary arrangements and putting out the rubbish, and what’s for supper....people and places and memories often draw a blank now. So I put my hand on his knee while I drive instead.

In the waiting room, after his appointment he makes everyone laugh - they stop what they are doing - reading a magazine, writing a cheque, shuffling papers behind the desk and look at him. Their faces are smiling and the room is suddenly full of light and he looks happy - momentarily - spilling out into brightness.