Wednesday 2nd June

Day 44

The pussy cat woke us at 6 am - squeaking outside the bedroom door. No sign of peeing though. He’s been quiet all day. Maybe the plug-in diffuser we bought from the vet has calmed him. It wafts a scent that mimics mother’s milk all around the kitchen. It doesn’t smell of much to me.

I’m still wobbly in the aftermath of a violent shock. Being peed on by your pussy cat feels personal. He’s never done that in 14 years. It was on my side of the bed - the message was for me. He’s stressed - maybe the intruder tom, his tooth extraction - something’s different, something’s changed and he doesn’t like it. I broke his trust somehow and now I don’t trust him.

This afternoon I bought two big plastic sheets from the building section in B&Q to protect the beds. It may save on duvet cleaning bills. But I don’t think you can mend trust by covering it up. There must be a more eloquent way to manage change if you're not a pussy cat.