Blood Fish and Bone

22nd June 2011 Wednesday

We are at the bottom of the garden filling a big glazed pot with new compost. I want to plant the cherry red tea rose we bought in the market two weeks ago - no space in the beds so I hope it will still thrive in a pot.

I say to my husband,

Have we got anything like blood, fish and bone?

I don’t know what that is.

You know - fertilizer. It's plant food. It’s a white powder in a box.

We haven’t got any.

Yes I know we have. It’s in the shed.

Suddenly I can’t bear it.

Well, if we have it’s on the bottom shelf.

I find the tub of Phostrogen. Where he says it is.

It’s called Phostrogen, I say needlessly.

I don’t know what it’s called, he says. I don’t remember.

But I want you to remember, I say.

Me too, he says.

And he holds me while I cry sorry into his neck. We stay like that for a while, locked together outside the shed, while the clouds cover the sun.