I spent this afternoon in the company of my sweet great niece - nearly 4 years old. She was a delight .... such a perfect antidote to keep me from being sucked back into the memory of this day a year ago when we buried Robin.
This morning I felt as weak and wobbly as I did standing at the edge of that red gash in the ground .....where I could see with my own eyes the wicker weave of his coffin...... but not a cell in my body could believe it was real. Or true.
Looking for photos of him to put on this blog tonight has a different flavour .....plunged back into the technicolour of the life we had.....it feels surreal.... as if it never really happened at all. How can all that breath and blood and bone and sweetness be snuffed out forever .....he has gone from my days and nights now ...how can I keep him real..... even in the past.... when it feels like he has disappeared like a will o' the wisp into the pages of my photo albums....
Here he is with our same sweet great niece when she was only a few months old in 2014.
This is my last blog from the UK for a while. I'll be back here in December.