Off Piste....Marmalade...Lovely Neighbours..... and stumbling in the dark

Today I go off piste and forget to take my homeopathic remedies for my cold, and my other tablets.

I forget to do my HIT exercises and my yoga poses.

I forget to look in the mirror and say good things to myself.

Instead I have tea  with my sister,

 and make 8 jars of Seville orange marmalade,

for presents.

And I walk in the park in late bursts of sunshine.

At this time of year, my hibernation months, I usually refuse any invitations which involve going out after dark. But tonight some lovely neighbours invite me to supper which I accept. We have known them since we moved here 14 years ago and have been in and out of each others' houses many times but not actually sat round a table together.

  I'm treated to a sumptuous 5 course meal with wines ....served in precious family heirloom china and glass....and the cutest little silver cream jug. Cream to pour over salted caramel chocolate mousse and fresh raspberries...

And now I'm completely stuffed but feel so blessed and nourished by their loving attention.....letting me talk about how it is without Robin ....listening with such kindness and openness.... making it easy for me to be me.....even in the midst of not not knowing who I am anymore without the cloaks of my roles....still stumbling around the dark.