Black Bear in her Cave Mode

Autumn in the NT gardens at Killerton House.

I don't want to get up these days....into a dark morning. It's always the first sign for me that I'm slipping into hibernation mode.....always in October. 

 It is just like a switch that goes off inside me - one day it's on and the next day it's off. It happened on Sunday. Like being filled up with brackish water....slowly throughout the day.

 So it's hard to keep my spirits, my energy, above the rising tide. I just do the minimum.....till I can give in to the black bear slumped in her cave mode...and feel grateful that I can.....with no-ne to please except myself.

 Today I had an excellent lunch with two gorgeous women in a Lebanese restaurant. We shared a huge fresh mezze platter.....humous, babaganoush, fattoush, falafel, halloumi, pitta bread, pickles and salads. And  afterwards some of us managed to down several varieties of baklava  - tiny nut-filled, honey-soaked pastries....a lovely feast.

I forgot my phone at home and I noticed how anxious it made me ......even though I wasn't expecting any calls and it was only for a few hours. But more importantly it meant I couldn't take any photos of the food.....

And a few more Widows Tips....

Treasure your friends.

Being a widow is not an illness.

Widowhood is not for sissies.

Allow yourself to feel all the bewildering feelings. Don't suppress them but don't indulge in them either. ( A fine balance if you can manage it.)