Wednesday 5 April 2017

Till Today ....I haven't let it sink in.















































Till today...

I haven't let it sink in
what it was all about
my two weeks alone
in Portugal.

Today 
I found out
it was 
good for my body
all that 
visceral
beauty.
A balm for
my cells.

Not so good 
for the
tender
raw
vulnerable
little soul
shaking inside me.

The one who wants 
a strong
 grown up 
to look after her.
Who doesn't know 
how to be 
alone
when it
doesn't feel 
safe.

So maybe it was just too soon
for a wounded heart
to be stranded 
for so long
in a place
so full of 
remembered
togetherness.

They say you have to 
feel it 
to heal it.
Well, you have to breathe first
mindfully
in and out
to know you are alive.

So holding my  breath
for two weeks
not knowing 
it was safe 
I didn't feel
very much
at all.
In the places
that are hurting.

Instead 
I let my legs take me
into the saltiness
 and the sweetness
of the 
sea air
and breathed that
salve
into
my blood.

Which 
in turn
 is cradling
the soreness
of my heart.






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