Random photos from the last week. Magnolia, snakes-head, and seagulls in the park. Seagulls and a red sail in Dartmouth. Tulips and a beautiful perennial I can't remember the name of in someone's garden in Lyme Regis.
Today I felt normal for a while. I had a breathing space - some precious hours to do ordinary things - not difficult stressful phone calls or trying to make decisions with not enough information, while Robin was in the TLC of lovely Age UK worker in the morning and with lovely friend in the afternoon.
Things like ordering dust bags for the hoover online, paying care bills, boiling eggs for lunch. Walking in the University Parks hoping to see a kingfisher but happy to see a pair of snoozing mallards instead.
Rolling up the hems of my jeans and sitting on the patio, bare feet, a book, a cup of tea, sun on my arms. A brief joy.
So when Robin comes home I can be with him, give him my attention, all of me, because I fed myself while he was away. And so, briefly, I'm not hungry for the lost me, the me that flounders and falters in the relentless tide of caring and guilt and being the grown up, the good one. Who wants to be bad.
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