25th June 2012
I return a pair of lilac linen trousers to Laura Ashely. I’ve lost the receipt, they have gone down in price since last week so I lose £9 and can only have a credit for 28 days. I thought the trousers would be suitable for my nephew’s wedding in August but they aren’t. I start looking for something else in M & S. Nothing. So I buy a turquoise swimming costume instead to replace my old one which has gone all stiff in the straps and saggy at the waist. I hardly ever go swimming now so it’s just in case.....
I meet up with my lovely support woman from Devon Carers for a coffee. She gives me the name of a lawyer to talk to about my husband’s tribunal. She says it’s vital to get the appeal right. I feel panicky. I keep trying to forget about it but it’s hanging over me like a bad smell all the time. At least my fear that I’ve somehow done something wrong is what’s hanging over me....but that’s not new.
I notice I haven’t been practising my Mindfulness Meditation and decide it’s alright - judging myself is probably worse than not doing it.. Maybe I could take my fear and criticism back to the very expensive shop where I bought them and not bother with a refund..... trade them in for love and laughter instead.....
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