What if?

Monday 13th December

Day 235

Macaroni cheese bubbling in an oval earthenware dish, halved cherry tomatoes peeking out from under the blanket of creamy sauce and two long boats of garlic bread specked with parsley- grown up comfort food. The cucumber and frisee lettuce leaves on the side dilute the guilt factor. Lunch with a dear friend in a cafe - keeping at bay the bitterness of a cold afternoon.

She is someone who knows about creeping loss, the useless hammering voice of 'What if? 'in your head that steals away sleep in the deep night while the man in the bed next to you breathes on and on into the morning light.